New Year's Day rings in the month of January, dedicated by the ancient Romans to their god Janus. Religious Romans promised the two-faced god that they would be better in the new year than they had been in the past. But if good old Janus were to check in on whether I've been following through with my own resolutions, he would be REALLY annoyed.
Truth be told, I love the idea of starting fresh on a new year with a list of resolutions. However, I also hate the hard work that goes with following through with the said resolutions! It's an oxymoron for sure. By end January, I'm already wading through a graveyard of broken promises to myself.
It turns out that there's a scientific reason why we repeatedly make and break resolutions. Social science researchers have named this tendency "False Hope Syndrome" — because we believe self-change is easy, we set high expectations that are not realistic.
Last year, I vowed to break out of my self-inflicted lethargy, stay away from chocolate, and lose 20kg by June. Unsurprisingly, within one week, I had already chucked my diet, skipped the online gym sessions (no thanks to the blasted lockdowns) and six weeks later, my gym shoes were collecting dust in my closet.
But like many people who miss the mark on their wellness goals, I interpreted my failure as inevitable. Imagining the new svelte me by June? False hopes, indeed! I needed to ask myself what was I really trying to improve?
In almost every resolution set, it was happiness I was ultimately seeking. Our failed resolutions are often attempts to gain happiness indirectly — like losing weight or exercising (in my case) to become more attractive and, we hope, happier. Are resolutions our little attempts at finding joy in the midst of despair?
It has been a tough year. From battling a pandemic, to suffering a calamitic natural disaster, it has been an annus horribilis for most people. We've lost loved ones, livelihoods, properties and, one might dare say, our joy.
"In an age of despair, choosing joy is a revolutionary act," said Douglas Abrams, author of The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World, a 2016 bestseller that he wrote with the late Desmond Tutu and the Dalai Lama.
In 2022, I'm going to choose joy instead of choosing a diet!
The year 2021 taught me many lessons. I've learnt to be appreciative of the small moments and stopped waiting for big momentous occasions to keep me happy. I've learnt that good health is invaluable and family is precious.
As I wade past my 40s into the 50s, I have decided not to try changing myself. Instead, I'm going to learn to change the way I view myself and the world at large. We've gone through so much in the previous year. Heaven knows, we could all do with a little bit of self-love, kindness and goodwill.
Let's move on to 2022 by first being kind to ourselves and each other!
That being said, I still love writing resolutions. I'll probably put down losing weight again. But maybe this time I'll also add gratitude, kindness and forgiveness on the list. The latter especially when I fail to hit my target weight by June!
With the right resolutions (go ahead, eat a couple of cookies — Janus will forgive you!), your well-being, and that of those you love, will surely rise. On that note, here are some Malaysians with their personal resolutions for 2022.
The future is not yet written. Perhaps in setting our resolutions, we are writing it now.
DR LEE SU KIM, 60s
Bestselling author, cultural activist, educator and public speaker
What's the one resolution you keep making year after year but have never been able to realise?
I don't like to make New Year resolutions as I'm not sure I can keep them!
What would you most like to change about yourself?
I'm happy as I am but it would be great to be more tech-savvy and digitally literate.
What was the biggest thing you learnt about yourself this past year?
That I can be happy turning inward during long lockdowns, enjoying my own company and that of loved ones, indulging in creative pursuits and taking delight in simple things. There was much time and space to learn new things, to create, read and write.
What advice would you like to give yourself as you begin the new year?
To try to lead a healthier life, to spend more time on physical fitness and to continue learning. To also treasure every moment of the life that I've been given and live it fully and meaningfully.
KEE THUAN CHYE, 67
Actor, dramatist, poet, journalist, civil rights activist and writer
What's the one resolution you keep making year after year but have never been able to realise?
Lose weight and become rich!
What would you most like to change about yourself?
Be more intelligent and creative.
What was the biggest thing you learnt about yourself this past year?
That I'm doomed to be poor and struggling!
What advice would you like to give yourself as you begin the new year?
Exercise, exercise, exercise!
DINA ZAMAN
Co-founder of IMAN Research
What's the one resolution you keep making year after year but have never been able to realise?
To learn to swim.
What would you most like to change about yourself?
To stop overthinking. Oh yeah, I need to stop this!
What was the biggest thing you learnt about yourself this past year?
Self-care. This was very important during the pandemic where everything was shut down. Did I try all kinds of workout, meditation, massage videos on YouTube? You bet!
Self-reflection. The older one gets, the more one must reflect on her life. This is even more important with the work I do where one is constantly questioning. Are our biases legitimate?
What advice would you like to give yourself as you begin the new year?
Like all Malaysians, we have seen quite rough times. Covid has been... too dramatic. Next year, even though I have tonnes of work to do, I plan to have fun and laugh more.
NUR ASHIKEEN IQBAL (KIMI BLACK), 31
Senior learning consultant, model, singer and Ms Wheelchair World 2022 finalist
What's the one resolution you keep making year after year but have never been able to realise?
Helping people in need. It's something I'm really passionate about! I always tell myself this every year. But when I look back, I've come to realise that I've been doing that more frequently. It's become like second nature to me. #KitaJagaKita
I tend to put others first before myself. I love that about myself. Manifestation and hard work really work!
What would you most like to change about yourself?
Absolutely nothing! I believe I am an outstanding individual just the way I am. I learn to love myself for who I am, flaws and all.
What was the biggest thing you learnt about yourself this past year?
I've learned how to improve my life frequently, including understanding what's pulling me down, blocking my way or distracting my brain and path. By being aware of this, I have the option of letting it go or fixing the issue. I've learned to love the messy bits of me and not to be so hard on myself.
What advice would you like to give yourself as you begin the new year?
Start celebrating my obstacles. There's this saying from the Zen Proverbs, "Obstacle do not block the path, they are the path". Always stay true to myself, stay positive and love God, my families and friends. Don't go with the flow, be the flow!
AGILAN THANI, 26
ONE Championship athlete, mixed martial artist
What's the one resolution you keep making year after year but have never been able to realise?
It's probably everything that I plan because this life is always full of surprises and if you don't roll with the punches, you're probably going to get knocked down! So, I do whatever it takes to make ends meet.
What would you most like to change about yourself?
Talk less and listen more, speak only when it matters and, lastly, control my emotions!
What was the biggest thing you learnt about yourself this past year?
My mental and physical wellbeing are way more important to me than my financial wellbeing. It's because I realise that I become more upset when I get out of shape than when I lose money! Also, I have come to understand that my behaviour matters because it affects the people I love the most.
What advice would you like to give yourself as you begin the new year?
Be ready for whatever comes your way. Always be willing to learn, to adapt and to accept change as part of growth.
SAMUEL ISAIAH, 34
Educator, programme director at Pemimpin GSL, Top 10 Finalist, Global Teacher Prize 2020
What's the one resolution you keep making year after year but have never been able to realise?
To be honest, I've never really had a resolution. But I do keep in mind, that with every passing year, it's not what accolades or accomplishments that I gain that matters the most. It is what I give and work hard for, with my feet planted firmly on the ground. As long as I abide by this, I believe every year has been and will be extraordinary.
What would you most like to change about yourself?
The year 2021 has shown me that the only stumbling block to the potential I have and what I am capable of is me. Therefore, I'd like to be bolder, be more imaginative, be more empathetic and compassionate, and most importantly, I would like to be more welcoming towards challenges.
What was the biggest thing you learnt about yourself this past year?
In my quest to contribute towards change, I need support, and I can't do it alone. I think I have realised this for some time now, but 2021 was telling as I transitioned to a new role as programme director at Pemimpin GSL, an organisation focused on improving school leadership.
With a team consisting of an outstanding CEO, young passionate staff members, supported by a highly critical yet enthusiastic board members who are invested in what we can do together, the sky's the limit in 2022.
What advice would you like to give yourself as you begin the new year?
I would advise myself to always stay true to my principles, read more, and cherish every little moment with my loved ones.
SANJITPAAL SINGH, 39
International award-winning wildlife photographer
What's the one resolution you keep making year after year but have never been able to realised?
To travel more and photograph our wildlife, but it's been impossible due to restrictions and oh ya... finish writing my book!
What would you most like to change about yourself?
Start saying 'no' and then get more sleep.
What was biggest thing you learnt about yourself this past year?
I have the potential to impress! To thrill people and excite them through the works I create.
What advice would you like to give yourself as you begin the new year?
Don't back down from any challenges. Dreams can come true.
ELISA PANJANG, 36
Conservation officer, Danau Girang Conservation Centre, Sabah and pangolin champion
What's the one resolution you keep making year after year but have never been able to realised?
I don't take proper care of my health. Every year, I make resolutions, one of which is to exercise more frequently and eat a healthier diet but this rarely happens. Most of the time I don't do this because I'm too preoccupied with work. In the coming year I need to improve my self-discipline and be more mindful.
What would you most like to change about yourself?
I want to improve my self-discipline and learn to love myself more.
What was biggest thing you learnt about yourself this past year?
I realised that if I want to be happy, I can be happy. If I want to, I can be negative as well. I am the one who makes the decisions. I actually have the ability to begin and end something. So, for me, improving self-discipline and self-love are two critical aspects on which I must focus next year.
What advice would you like to give yourself as you begin the new year?
Be more self-disciplined and self-loving.
JACLYN VICTOR, 43
Recording artiste, singer and entertainer
What's the one resolution you keep making year after year but have never been able to realised?
I stopped making resolutions because I realised that I had never really achieved any of the resolutions I made in the previous years! I usually start off feeling motivated and "gung-ho" about making good my resolutions at the beginning of the year but that quickly fizzles off as the year progresses and life happens.
For example, I had always wanted to work out more and be healthier but never got around to actually accomplishing those resolutions in the previous years. So, no new year resolutions for me this year!
What would you most like to change about yourself?
I'm actually a people-pleaser, which isn't a bad thing by itself. But along with that, I'm also overly sensitive and read too much into things, especially situations that really have got nothing to do with me. I really want to change that about myself. To not overthink things and take a chill pill!
What was biggest thing you learnt about yourself this past year?
I've been fiercely independent all my life. This year, I've learnt to stop wanting to control every aspect of life and to learn to let go of some things and allow other people to take over. It's not an easy transition but it's given me a lot of peace. I've learnt to be calmer, more patient and not sweat the small stuff.
What advice would you like to give yourself as you begin the new year?
Life is extremely short and delicate. I want to be more present for my children, my mum and the people whom I love very much. Life is not always fine. We have all suffered a lot last year. All I hope is to be a better person and to not take things or people for granted.
FRANCISSCA PETER, 60
Singer-songwriter and recording artiste
What's the one resolution you keep making year after year but have never been able to realise?
To stop swearing.
What would you most like to change about yourself?
Well, trying to lose the great girth around my stomach first which has been like a yo-yo for months now!
What was the biggest thing you learnt about yourself this past year?
I had to do lots of stuff online on my own due to the prolonged lockdowns: singing, being a judge for international song contests, doing live interviews, et cetera where I had to learn to be the sound engineer, lighting engineer, makeup artiste and being my own photographer, among other things. I learnt to be very independent and self-sufficient. I did not know I was capable of that.
What advice would you like to give yourself as you begin the new year?
Laugh more, sing even more. Stress, cry and complain less no matter how tough it's getting. Reach out to care and help others even more wherever I am able to.
