LETTERS: Parenting a child attending a boarding school is a unique experience that comes with its own set of benefits and challenges.
These schools offer an immersive educational environment and a chance for students to develop independence, resilience and lifelong friendships.
However, being a parent to a boarding school child requires navigating emotional distance and communication challenges, and adapting to a different parenting style.
Sending my eldest child to a boarding school several months ago, 270km away from home, has been an emotional challenge.
While he is having a good time making friends and exploring his new independence, the home feels different for the parental unit, which is missing the beloved child.
Being physically separated for the first time and adjusting to the distance can be difficult, particularly during special occasions and holidays. It requires parents to find alternative ways to maintain a strong bond.
Finding opportunities to visit the school, attend events, or engage in activities together when the child is on breaks becomes crucial.
The visits provide an opportunity to understand their lives and strengthen the family bond.
Boarding school life encourages independence and resilience; that's one of the reasons for sending a child there.
Our role as parents is to provide support and celebrate our children's achievements in managing their studies, routines and relationships independently.
Endless encouragement is also needed for them to embrace challenges and learn from setbacks, fostering resilience in the face of adversity.
Even though we may not be physically present, being involved in the child's life is essential.
However, the challenge for parents is to understand the extent of their involvement. They need to let their child grow and learn to make his own decisions.
Living together in a close-knit community, boarding schoolchildren tend to form deep and lasting friendships.
These connections can be invaluable, providing support and camaraderie throughout their lives.
While developing friendships, there are issues that the children will face, and it is good to let them try to overcome the challenges.
Parents can give advice and provide minimal guidance.
Boarding schoolchildren may experience many emotions, including excitement, homesickness and stress.
As a parent, I believe that it is best to acknowledge and validate these feelings, letting the child know that it is okay to experience them.
We should avoid dismissing the emotions or providing solutions. Instead, showing empathy and understanding will be such a great help to the child.
Establishing and maintaining communication channels is also important.
Regular phone calls, video calls or online chats are important to keep in touch, as it is crucial to keep track of their academic progress, extracurricular activities and emotional development.
Being informed allows us to offer support and encouragement. And sometimes, they do need reminders from their mother.
Ultimately, it is hoped that the experience of parenting a child at a boarding school will lead to personal growth and a strengthened parent-child relationship.
The skill of balancing between encouraging their independence, supporting their social connections, and being involved in their lives to ensure their emotional wellbeing during their boarding school journey will need to be grasped by parents. That's the challenge.
ASSOCIATE PROFESSOR
DR ZALEHA YAZID
Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia
The views expressed in this article are the author's own and do not necessarily reflect those of the New Straits Timess
