ASK what the pandemic wrecked in our lives and many will say their economic wellbeing has deteriorated — and rightly so. But, taken for granted, we tend to ignore what we hold dear.
It seems that love may have hit a dry patch. This is obvious in the dwindling number of marriages and lost opportunities in courtship.
As pandemic restrictions have mostly kept people at home for the past two years, it is almost impossible to nurture a relationship, let alone meet the "right partner" in life.
However, this Valentine, as we reopen our lives and try to live with Covid-19, I wonder if we will learn to love again.
Most of the time, love is mismatched chemistry. We try to find someone to gel with, but usually end up unrequited or heartbroken along the way. It is only the strong-hearted who keep trying, whereas others will stay single to the end if they don't meet their right "substrate".
Another breed will complain of loneliness, yet are afraid of affection from others. When opportunity comes a-calling, they become oblivious.
They joke, they brush it off and they run away. They even lie to their heart and say that there is nothing special happening.
And for those who have it, love has to be affirmed. You can't just say "I love you" and that's it. Pandemic or not, many have fallen into the trap of "familiarity breeds contempt".
Thinking they know all their quirks, couples tend to challenge each other to the brink — sometimes over reasons that don't even make sense. And before they realise it, the damage is done.
So how do we reignite the long-lost spark or prevent relationships from dying out? There are simple tactics that I have noted from watching anime (yes, there was a time in the pandemic when I was really free to enjoy cartoons and meditate on love).
However, anime are not facts of life, and how real the tactics apply is up to the readers' judgment. Let me share three with their Japanese terminologies, so you can Google them up.
First is holding hands (te wo tsunagou), which, to me, is practical indeed. Why? Because it is a simple gesture of two people connecting their hearts. It melts the ice and creates tender feelings (kimochi yasashi) that nurture a sense of belonging.
If you have forgotten how it feels like to connect with your beloved, just take his or her hand, and see how closely you are drawn to each other.
Next is sharing the umbrella (aiai-gasa), which requires checking the weather and setting up a "coincidence" to walk with someone you want to woo. This tactic seems amateurish and is probably used by college kids and young office workers.
But under that umbrella is a zone where two people can feel safe. On a rainy day, it protects them from being drenched. On a hot day, it saves them from getting sunburned.
How much is it worth for a chance to shelter with someone you like? If you frequently give it a pass, you probably deserve to end up lonely and die in shame!
Last is "wall-slamming" (kabedon), which takes a lot of courage to pull it off. I have never tried this stunt, but in videos on social media, you can see heart-racing moments where a guy corners a girl (or vice versa) and slams the wall behind her.
Then, looking into her eyes, he asks the burning question: "Will you be my Valentine?"
Trapped between his gaze and the wall, there is nowhere for the poor girl to run. If done passionately and with full sincerity, it may elicit a positive (or negative) response. Just be careful not to go overboard and end up getting charged with harassment.
If you have decided to revive your love life, I hope you find the strength to overcome the challenges. Take heart because love usually appears at the most unexpected moment.
If you watched Tora Dora, you may have noted the ending monologue. It goes something like this: "In this world, there is this thing that no one has ever seen.
"It is very kind and gentle. If anybody can see it, there'll be a whole bunch of people who'll want it. Maybe that's why the world keeps it hidden. If it's that hard to get, that makes it even more special.
"And one day, someone will find it. Whoever finds it, they'll be the ones who are supposed to… because that's the way it's meant to be!"
