KUALA LUMPUR: "It's not that I have not come to terms with the death of my son; I have. I cannot accept the way he was tortured."
This was what Hawa Osman was saying about her late son, Zulfarhan Osman Zulkarnain, who was murdered as he was subjected to 90 burnt marks caused by six of his fellow cadet mates at Universiti Pertahanan Nasional Malaysia (UPNM) more than six years ago.
Hawa, 60, said she would cry every time she hears about bullying cases.
"Every night, I cry. I hope the bullies experience the pain my late son endured," she told Harian Metro.
The late Zulfarhan was confirmed dead on June 1, 2017, following abuse by a group of his fellow students at the defence university. Six of them are currently serving 18-year prison sentences.
Additionally, 12 other accused are serving three-year prison terms for causing harm to Zulfarhan.
Hawa, who is a mother of four said since the her son's murder, she and her husband were traumatised and avoided using an iron to press clothes, as she recalled Zulfarhan's suffering due to the object.
"Nowadays, my children will end up having to iron mine and my husband's clothes. The both of us won't use irons.
"Moreover, my husband and I are traumatised every time we see UPNM and will avoid passing through that area because it holds heart-wrenching memories.
"I pray to Allah that the perpetrators face consequences in this world and the hereafter," she said.
Hawa said memories of Zulfarhan , whom the family members affectionately called Along, are still vivid.
She and her husband Zulkarnain Idros, 59, are in pain thinking about their loss.
"It's not about holding a grudge, but the pain of losing a beloved child traumatises me, especially when I think about the suffering my son endured—being scalded 90 times with a hot iron, including on his private parts.
"It's unimaginable how much pain my son went through. It is difficult for me to forgive the (people responsible) because they lacked compassion."
Hawa believes that if Zulfarhan had not been confined after what he endured and was given prompt medical treatment, he would still be alive.
"It's even more heartbreaking that he endured the suffering alone before his death.
"What's wrong if the university officials had informed us so we could be with our son during his last moments?" she questioned.
FAMILY BANS KIN FROM ENROLLING IN UPNM
Meanwhile, Zulkarnain said that two weeks after his son's death, he dreamt of Zulfarhan returning wearing his navy uniform.
"In the dream, I welcomed my son and took him for a walk around Johor Baru. He told me, 'Dad, Zulfarhan's not dead; Zulfarhan is still here. Every time I remember that dream, I cry because Zulfarhan was a good son," he said.
Zulkarnain added that after what happened to his son, "banned" his next of kin, whether children or grandchildren from enrolling in UPNM.
"I accept my son's death, but I cannot comprehend the suffering my son went through," he said, expressing hope that bullying cases are addressed before more lives are lost.
Harian Metro also spoke to a mother of bullying victim, who had endured the trauma while at boarding school.
The incident happened in a the school in Kuala Terengganu eight years ago. The victim is now aged 22 and attends a public higher education institution.
The mother, Rusaila Abdullah, 47, said that her child, who is the second of four siblings, continues to have nightmares and often is heard babbling and crying while sleeping.
The victim has lost hearing in the right ear due to a ruptured eardrum, and this prevents the victim from doing water activities for life, among other things.
The victim also has self-esteem issues.
"It has been eight years, but the impact and pain is still felt to this day because my child not only suffered permanent hearing loss, but also lost his adolescence, even though he was previously an active person.
"The injuries suffered from the beating prevents my child from being as active as other youngsters in the same age group.
"Water cannot enter his ear because there is a risk of infection that could lead to death, given the proximity of the injury to the brain.
death, given the proximity of the injury being close to the brain.
Rusaila said her family faced criticism when they took the case to court as they were accused of intentionally exaggerating the matter, despite the severity of her child's injuries.
"At first, we never thought of filing a lawsuit, but considering the condition of my child and the trauma he is experiencing, we were determined to take such action for their future. They are not in my shoes.
"The incident happened while I was in confinement after my fourth child was born, and try to imagine my situation when my child was treated this way.
"I'm not trying to dwell on it, but to this day, the senior students and the family involved in the incident have never apologised for it.
"At the beginning of the incident, one of the senior student's family members came to see me but not to apologise.
"Instead, they wanted me to withdraw the police report because it would ruin their child's future," she said.
Rusaila said her child's incident left a lasting impact and they understand whenever they hear about child bullying cases.
"Imagine placing yourself as a family member of a bullying victim whose effects are still felt to this day.
"Thankfully, after several ups and downs in court since 2017, our child's case was finally settled with the Federal Court's decision on Oct 16, favouring us," she said.
BULLYING STATISTICS ON THE RISE
Meanwhile, data from the Student Personality System (SSDM) under the Education Ministry recorded 4,994 reported bullying cases from January to October 2023.
Anti-Bullying Act Advocacy Movement leader Wan Azliana Wan Adnan said bullying cases in schools showed a sudden increase compared to the previous year.
"Based on statistics, a total of 4,994 cases were recorded in 2023 compared to 3,887 cases in 2022. In 2021, 326 cases were reported, 2,795 cases in 2017, 3,488 cases in 2016, and 3,011 cases in 2015," she told Harian Metro.
Wan Azliana, who is Malaysian Women's Aspiration Organisation (Aswa) chairperson, said it is time for the government to enact special laws to address bullying.
She emphasised a need to improve existing laws, despite having the Penal Code and guidelines such as the Education Ordinance 1957, School Discipline Regulations 1959 and circulars.
She said bullying should not be taken lightly as they have negative effects on the victims physically, in addition to impacting their long-term psychological and emotional wellbeing.
"All parties must realise that bullying is a crime that can damage the victim, even leading to loss of life," she said.
