LETTERS: I believe we are still living in a patriarchal society and wonder if we are raising our sons and daughters equally? It's heartbreaking to see this differentiation still exists.
Some progressive parents are raising their daughters and sons equally in a gender-neutral world. But, many still have different rules for them. Parents must first clear their notions on feminism.
Feminism is the advocacy of women's rights on the ground that both sexes are equal. Feminism isn't about putting women over men or depriving men of their privileges but elevating women's position and making it equal to that of men.
When parents are clear about this, we can feed this thought in the minds of our children. So, are we ready to raise a feminist son, which demands us to question all our norms and to unlearn the stereotype and preconceptions in our society?
Raising children is indeed an arduous task. If we wish for gender equality, we need to raise ours sons as we are raising our daughters.
This is because we are responsible for the men they will become. Children learn through mirroring their parents.
We can't expect our sons to treat women equally and to be feminist if there isn't a role model at home. So, parents play the crucial role model at home.
It's the parents duty to show their sons that gender has no fixed roles and household chores can be equally shared among family members. It basically has nothing to do with gender.
Let your sons play with what they want and like. Don't stereotype their minds that only cars, swords, trucks and dinosaurs are their toys. If they happen to like dolls, so be it.
Let them know that it is all right to do other things even if their friends aren't doing it. Allow your sons to learn the broader spectrum of gender identity.
It's about time parents stop imposing gender expectations and telling their sons "should behave like a boy".
Phrases like "Don't behave like a girl" or "Don't cry like a girl" will unconsciously reinforce stereotype behaviour which will make him believe that he cannot do anything that a girl does.
Each time we tell him not to cry, we are giving him a negative mindset that only women cry. Crying isn't a weakness but rather a way of expressing emotions.
Encourage our sons to have friendship with girls. Let them know that it's all right if they want to play with girls as much as boys.
Friendship with girls shouldn't be scorned at and should be cultivated.
Explain to your sons that girls are just biologically different and everyone is different in their own way. Never portray that girls are weak.
Openly talk to them about various inspirational stories of women. Expose them to powerful women as role models as much as you teach them about male role models.
Going against traditional parenting will cause us to disagree with family and friends. Feminism can only be possible if we are all in this together. We need to explain to our children about equality.
Feminism has no gender and also isn't anti-men. We have to remove the perceived misconception that feminism is only for women and embrace that feminism is also for men.
Let's strive to make our society a better place to live in. Our homes reflect our society, so let's make our homes a "stereotype-free home".
Dr R. Lalitha
Butterworth, Penang
The views expressed in this article are the author's own and do not necessarily reflect those of the New Straits Times
