I sense that many people in Malaysia are on the edge at the moment.
What with the economic hardship over the past two years, the political machinations in our country, the tense racial undertones that mask our veneer of harmony, the uncertainty of work as well as business and so on, have made for a lot of tension is us.
Times are trying, even for the usually optimistic and calm people.
I have found my getting annoyed and irritated easier of late. But, when I think about the triggers for these episodes, I know that my more 'normal' self would have been far more accommodating. I reckon the circumstances and the environment are making us all a little bit more jittery than usual.
Now, this act of self-reflection is something I suggest every does.
In academic parlance, it is known 'action research'. You will find that it offers you real learning bout yourself, if you able to reflect on what you could have done better, in any given situation.
Coming back to the latest incident that irked me, I realised that it wasn't really a very prickly issue. And the very gruff and harsh retort that I gave the person on the side was totally uncharacteristic of me.
To be fair, even under normal times, the content of my response would have been the same, but the manner in which I presented my thoughts would have been so much more inclusive and pleasant.
For many people, the reality is that when life gets tough, we tend to suffer fools less.
I am reminded of many similar situations that the people I coach in my executive leadership coaching sessions have been in. They work with colleagues who get mad at them for things that they don't warrant such anger. Sometimes, an emotional outburst can come as a bolt of out of the blue.
In my recent circumstance, I managed to hold myself together and not go overboard with my impatience. And, because it wasn't face to face, I could 'switch-off' and walk away from phone. But at times, especially at the workplace, there might be no escape.
These types of problems will occur regularly at workplaces, and if you do not find some solution, it will get aggravated and lead to much more difficulties in the long run.
Often, I get hired by companies to work with their teams to help them reset, and rebuild their group dynamics. In these workplaces, when there is disconnect amongst the team, it frequently stems from some deep trust deficiency, and a lack of willingness to want to work together.
Nearly always, the distrust is built on some harmless verbal spat from ages ago, or an argument that never got fixed, or a flash point of offensiveness that was never dealt with.
And, right now, as we deal with a whole plethora of fears and frustrations, we need to be careful about how we react and respond to things, with our colleagues at work.
I employ some methods for myself, which I also recommend to the people I coach, for managing any fallout from potential emotional outbursts, before it gets out of control.
The fundamental thing you must get right at your workplace is to ensure that positive behaviour and balanced problem-solving become the standard behavioural procedure for your team.
Leaders should start by only hiring people who have a positive attitude to work and show that they have the ability to interact with others amicably.
Then remember that behaviour filters down from the top. If your managers cannot control their emotions, you lose gracefulness in your company. And others get influenced to behave in rude way too.
I work with many 'angry' companies, and at root, the problem lies with the 'angry' CEO. Whereas calm, respectful and well-adjusted leaders always set the standard for what professional behaviour is, and this in turn, motivates their team to behave appropriately.
People in your organisation must realise that senior staff will not themselves take an unnecessarily belligerent approach, and more importantly, they will not tolerate such behaviour in others. So, no one gets away with bad behaviour in the office.
While this might not completely eliminate emotional issues at your workplace, it certainly will reduce down incidences of undue nastiness.
Train you team how to deal with hostile conditions. And teach them that they cannot respond destructively to antagonistic team members. Managers must be taught to de-escalate tense situations, not make matter worse.
Set up a zero-tolerance approach, and you will quell emotionally charged moments rapidly.
It is harder than ever now, but to ensure that we come out alright on the other-side of these worries that we face that tend give a short fuse, we must make the effort to manage our emotions better.
Perhaps, this is the best time to work on a better you.
Shankar R. Santhiram is managing consultant and executive leadership coach at EQTD Consulting. He is also the author of the national bestseller "So, You Want To Get Promoted?
The views expressed in this article are the author's own and do not necessarily reflect those of the New Straits Times
