It has been the toughest year in memory, for many.
The pandemic, the ensuing economic fallout, the loss of jobs for some, the loss of property and possessions through the recent floods, and the overwhelming uncertainties that shroud everything have made 2021 a harsh ride.
At our workplaces, the situation is probably the same.
Traditionally, most people spend the end of each year taking stock, and setting up goals for what they want in the coming 12 months. Some will even fall into the "New Year's resolution" trap. You know, where you earnestly resolve to do things differently but within weeks, flip back to your old ways.
For me, like many, the biggest emotion that I have had to confront this year was disappointment.
It has been so challenging with the financial difficulties in managing my businesses because of all the fears surrounding the pandemic. And, most of all I have faced deep disappointments with people I trusted and depended on most, who mysteriously turned on me.
So, instead of simply making resolutions, I have decided to focus on the one significant learning lesson that I have had from the past year.
The power of accepting disappointment and learning to bounce back.
As a management consultant and leadership coach, I come across numerous industry leaders and executives who take active and strategic measures to turn the sting of failure into the reward of growth.
They successfully take setbacks, and find ways to quickly move past self-judgment and blame. These champions actually embrace failure, and fly past their competitors. And it doesn't matter whether they build a business, advance in their career, or improve their personal life.
I realise they have developed three very important skillsets that help them do this. And this is my learning, or rather "re-learning" for 2021. I reckon it will help you too.
The first thing they are skilled at is to really separate failure from their inherent happiness.
In my training programmes, I have said numerous times that success is just getting what you want. But happiness, on the other hand, comes when you become truly grateful for everything you have. Most people tend to forget this very basic principle of life.
Every time you fail, naturally it leads to sadness and frustration. This is fine, but only for a day or two. If you continuously wallow in self-pity or fear of failure, you become incapable of bouncing back.
If you continue to equate your happiness to the successes you gain, you'll begin to measure your worth as a person only with this yardstick. You need to remind yourself that you are not a loser if you fail in one or two businesses, or if you got fired from your job.
The people I meet who habitually rise from setbacks are incredibly resilient. They see their self-worth through the ability to keep trying, rather than giving up. And they know that while they may not be good at one thing, they realise that this doesn't mean that they are useless at everything.
This is a vital skill I have reminded myself of, this past year.
Next, I have re-learnt that I cannot succumb to lingering procrastination.
You have all met that person who is waiting for "the stars to be aligned" for the perfect opportunity to do something. There is always that better time, or less risky period to act. This is just procrastination disguising itself as the fear of failure.
Whether you are seeking to build a business or advance in your career, you can't succeed without starting. But you need to see any potential failure as an indicator for the need to course-correct. This is in the psyche of every accomplished person I have met.
Through this last year of disappointments, I had to cast off my distress of the unknown and boldly go where I have never ventured before. It is this ability to conquer my inherent tendency to procrastinate or delay action, which brought some semblance of stability.
And the third lesson I revisited was to embrace the idea that I will be fearful of the unknown, but I need the courage to not let this anxiety debilitate me.
Fear incapacitates many people. When this happens, you become unable or just avoid making a decision because you are apprehensive about failing. This results in lost opportunities. By avoiding decision-making, you don't get to hone your leadership or managerial skills and ultimately, every decision you make simply increases self-doubt.
When you commit to learn from every decision, good or bad, you grow.
In situations where the stakes are high, information is scarce, and the environment uncertain, break decisions down to smaller and manageable steps. Then become wiser with each step's success or failure.
This is how you surmount the fear of failure.
Learning from your failures is the most strategic way to gather and apply tactical knowledge and skills. Only then can you improve your life, career and business.
These were my three lessons for work and life in 2021. What did you learn?
