I sense that many people are on edge at the moment.
This pandemic, the seemingly never-ending lockdowns, the inability to travel inter-state to visit with parents or children, waiting patiently for the call up for inoculation, the ambiguity about what we can and can't do, the general drastic changes in the way we work, all have led to highly emotionally charged situations.
Times are trying, even for the normally sanguine and relaxed people.
Just a week ago, I found myself getting monumentally irritated over something someone said in a WAG (you know, the ubiquitous WhatsApp groups we all belong to).
While the subject was contentious, and I felt justified for my annoyance, after some reflection, I realised that my "normal" self would not have reacted in such a belligerent way.
I suspect my reaction was, perhaps, borne out of a deeper dissatisfaction. The episode unsettled me for a bit, but then I decided that I need to learn from it. Or rather "re-learn".
A day later, I revisited what had happened to think about what my role was, in this incident.
I often do this type of "action research". I find that it offers me real learning, if I am able to reflect on what I could have done better.
It really wasn't a contentious issue that was discussed in this national organisation that I belong to that led to this message. But this time it wasn't like my usual thought-through replies.
I realised that I was short fused, and replied with a very brusque retort.
Although under normal times, the content of my response would have been the same, my writing style would have been so much more inclusive and pleasant.
I suppose that for many of us, when life gets tough, we tend to suffer fools, less.
This reminded me of many similar situations that my trainees and coachees have been in. They work with colleagues who get mad at them for things that are not clear or apparent.
Just like what happened with me, an emotional outburst can come as a bolt of out of the blue.
In my case, even though I was irritated, I managed to retain some semblance of decorum. And ultimately, I walked away from the situation in the moment, and came back to it, when I was more settled.
At your workplace, there might be no escape.
These types of problems will occur regularly at your workplace, and if you do not find a solution, these difficulties will fester and lead to deeper complications.
I get commissioned by my clients to work with their teams to help them recalibrate, and re-establish good group dynamics. If there is disconnect, I find that it usually stems from deep seated distrust, or simply a lack of willingness to collaborate.
Nearly always, the distrust is built on some harmless verbal spat from a long time ago, or an argument that never got resolved, or a flash point of rudeness that was never dealt with.
And, as this pandemic applies so much pressure on us on all fronts, there is a possibility that our emotions will run amok sometimes.
Here are some methods that I have recommended to the people I coach to manage any fallout before it gets out of control. This is also what I had to remind myself of, again.
At your workplace, it is crucial to ensure that positive behaviour and rational problem solving become the standard behavioural procedure for your team.
Leaders should start by only hiring people who have a positive attitude to work and show that they have the ability to interact with others amicably.
Then remember that behaviour filters down from the top. If your managers cannot control their emotions, you lose gracefulness in your company. And others get influenced to behave in churlish ways.
I work with many "angry" companies, and at core, the problem lies with the CEO.
Composed, respectful and well-adjusted leaders always set the standard for what accounts for professional behaviour. This in turn motivates their team to conduct themselves appropriately.
People in your organisation must realise that senior staff will not, themselves, take an aggressive approach. More importantly, they will not tolerate such behaviour in others, therefore no one can get away with acting up or throwing tantrums at the workplace.
These practices will not completely eliminate emotional issues at your workplace. Afterall, humans are organic, and come with a basket of problems. But good leadership will reduce incidences of undue nastiness.
Your team also needs to be trained.
They must know how to deal with hostile conditions, and understand that they cannot respond destructively to antagonistic team members. Managers must be taught to de-escalate tense situations.
Set up a zero-tolerance approach, and you will quell emotionally charged situations, rapidly.
Right, that's my learning for this week. Note to self: You still have to suffer fools, even in tough times!
Shankar R. Santhiram is managing consultant and executive leadership coach at EQTD Consulting. He is also the author of the national bestseller "So, You Want To Get Promoted?"
The views expressed in this article are the author's own and do not necessarily reflect those of the New Straits Times
