There are some in Malaysia who are disappointed with the leadership transitions in the country.
I am 50 years old this year. And a constant in my life, has been "disappointment".
Hang on, don't judge me yet. Disappointment is constant, but so too is success, joy, sadness, happiness, sorrow, and the like. It is part and parcel of the rigmaroles of life.
But remember, you must learn to bounce back from setbacks.
Of course, I understand that one of the toughest things you will ever have to do, is to bounce back. Yet, the ability to recover is arguably the most useful skill that you need to master, in life.
What you do, when you encounter these stumbling blocks determine your eventual success.
Richard Yates who wrote the critically acclaimed book, Revolutionary Road, said "If you don't try at anything, you can't fail… it takes back bone to lead the life you want."
The only way to insulate yourself from any failure, is to never try anything.
I left paid employment to become a business owner in 1995. The biggest lesson that I have learnt since, is to be able recover from disappointment.
I can easily attribute my failings in the last two and half decades to bad partnerships; a downturn in the economy; the lack of financial backing and so on.
But honestly, I know that they were all due to my bad decision-making.
Instead, I learnt to not allow these difficulties to debilitate me for too long.
Let me give you an example.
I own a restaurant in Taman Tun Dr Ismail, Kuala Lumpur called The Fire Grill. It is a labour of love and allows me an avenue to exercise my passion for food. I cook and create the menus, myself.
It is a place where customers either like my food or they don't. Most have no qualms about letting me know directly, or through a good or a bad review.
When I ventured into the food and beverage sector, some of my friends, colleagues and even family questioned my decision. Especially, since they felt that it was a business in which I had no experience.
However, this isn't my "first-rodeo" as they say!
My first entry into this sector was in 1999 when I set up a restaurant in Melaka.
At that time, I had day job too. I was the chief executive of a college of higher learning. Notwithstanding the enormity of that position, I went ahead and opened the restaurant anyway.
The first few months went well. But juggling between both businesses required me to be an expert time manager; which I was not. I had no experience in the business, so I had to trust others; and that turned out badly.
Eventually, the restaurant went bust in just under two years, because of my dodgy decisions.
I spent some time wallowing in self-pity. It was hard to see my own role in why the business had failed. I swore that I would stay away from this cut-throat industry.
But I bounced back and worked at my skills as an entrepreneur.
15 years later, fortified with more experience, self-efficacy and belief, I reignited my passion for the food business with determination.
This early failure wasn't my only business setback, there were others, too.
How do you rebound from these failures?
First, take time to understand why it happened. Be introspective. Every time you think it was an external factor; actively stop yourself. Ask yourself: "what was my role in making that external factor impact my decision making".
Next, get guidance.
Soon after my first setback in business, I started seeking people who had a track record of being successful entrepreneurs. I wanted to learn from them. I worked at developing relationships with them. I offered them value; not to earn but to learn from them. I took their feedback seriously and absorbed what they said.
The third thing was that I figured out it was easiest to blame others for any failure.
So, I learnt that no one else is to blame for my misfortune. I finally understood, what the Roman philosopher, Seneca had said all those years ago; that luck was when opportunity met preparedness. This meant I had to own my decisions, regardless whether the outcome was successful or not
Finally, when I failed, I had to decide if I was on the right path, and whether I was cut out for entrepreneurship. Failure and setbacks are the best moments to force yourself to take a step back and look around you, to see where you are, to reflect on your decision-making, and to hit the reset button, if necessary.
Remember, just like me with my ventures, you will have disappointments some points in your career. You'll have that embarrassing moment when you fail publicly, or you get demoted or even not voted in!
Do not let your setbacks and disappointments take you down, instead, learn to bounce back stronger.
Shankar R. Santhiram is managing consultant and executive leadership coach at EQTD Consulting. He is also the author of the national bestseller "So, You Want To Get Promoted?"
The views expressed in this article are the author's own and do not necessarily reflect those of the New Straits Times
