KUALA LUMPUR: On June 16, a 16-year-old boy left his home in the wee hours. He was reunited with his family three days later.
The same day, a 13-year-old girl fled from school with a man thrice her age, whom she met on a dating application just two days earlier. She was raped and sought her classmate's help to return home two days later.
Teenagers are running away more frequently than we think.
And in some cases, the kids never return home.
Navigating adolescence can take teens to treacherous paths, consultant clinical psychologist Urmilah Dass said.
"Teen years are a time of discovery. Many view it as being closer to 'freedom'. Freedom to choose their way forward into young adulthood.
"Teenagers who have been psychologically disturbed or were trafficked often share to me that they left due to being unhappy in a chronically dysfunctional home."
Teenagers, she said, would run away when their pent-up emotional issues were unattended.
Parenting styles, therefore, play a key role in determining how a teenager shapes up.
"When children feel disconnected with their parents, they seek others for comfort. This could drive them to flee home in search of love and happiness.
"The consequences, however, are heartbreaking. Some young girls come back pregnant, and worse still, some return with HIV and herpes simplex," she said.
But, emotional turbulence alone does not push teenagers to make impulsive decisions. Biological changes play a role too.
Individual, family and organisational leadership expert Dr Azuraida Shahadan said the pre-development of the prefrontal cortex in the brain of an adolescent was responsible for influencing their decisions.
"The prefrontal cortex in the brain assists an individual to make mature decisions and exercise control over their emotions. However, in an adolescent, it is not fully formed. It will only be fully developed when an individual reaches 23.
"This, coupled with external factors, like coming from broken families, will push teenagers to act impulsively.
"And the emotional development of adolescents also differs from that of children. Normally, a child leans towards the mother until he or she turns 7. Then, from the age of 7 to 12, the child tends to trust the father more.
"But, an adolescent between 13 and 23 is likely to trust their friends and strangers. In fact, one of the common tendencies that teens between 12 and 15 exhibit is to withdraw from their parents."
Young adolescents, she said, thrive on arguments and discussions, searching for their beliefs and wanting to make themselves important.
When they reach between 16 and 19, they experience stronger sexual desires, and are likely to enjoy companionship of the opposite sex.
During this phase, relationships between adolescents and their parents range from friendly to hostile.
Teens want personal space, and are put off by parents prying into their lives.
Azuraida said what parents do for their children in their formative years would affect how teenagers behave. To her, engaging with kids is as simple as ABCDE.
"A stands for ajar (teach), B stands for bimbing (guide), C is cakap (communicate), D is for dengar (listen) and E is to encourage.
"Parents should listen to their children's views rather than insisting on what they feel as right. Take time to listen to them, even if it is just for five minutes. It reassures them that their parents are there for them," she said.
