WHEN dealing with daily challenges, most people have no problem listing down the 101 things that are wrong with their situation.
When asked to state only one thing they liked, you'd probably see blank faces. Yet, year after year, they keep doing the same thing and continue to add new complaints to the list. Very few would step up and offer their expertise or constructive ideas to improve the situation.
This was a situation I experienced recently when I chaired a community association meeting to discuss an upcoming charity project. I was the project leader; hence I came prepared with all the details required — objectives, issues and options for discussion.
However, to my dismay, some members of the audience chose to harp on one particular issue. It was an important issue, but it only constituted less than half of the whole thing. The meeting quickly turned into a "complaining" session. The energy was very negative and participants were drained unnecessarily.
Fortunately, I was able to regain some control and asked the committee members to switch their mind into a more creative thinking mode by focusing on finding the solution. Almost immediately, we were able to brainstorm and discuss possible options. At the end of the meeting, everyone was quite happy with the progress of the project.
This wouldn't have been the case had we continued to allow ourselves to be dragged into a meaningless blaming session.
BE POSITIVE
This experience reminded me of the importance of being a more positive person. By focusing on solutions, we're forcing our minds to think creatively and critically. Let's begin with our family, especially the children. Do we see them as problems, or do we see potentials?
When our kids misbehave, do we see naughty children or creative ones?
Work expectations and conditions can also cause many emotional problems. Pressing deadlines, demanding bosses, boring routines or difficult tasks all have their own way of messing up our emotions, leading to stress and frustrations which may affect our own motivation and good relationship with the family.
If we're not careful, we'll end up in the "complaining" mode. Again, we can explore the more positive sides by asking questions like, "How can I do it faster, better, cheaper and simpler?" Even if we're unable to find any solution, at least we've kept our mind on the positive, solution side.
Make this a new habit. Train the mind to find the "positives" in any situation, no matter how negative it is. Try it for a day, a week, a month and then, for life. The people around you will love the new you.
A year from now, I can bet that those who focus on the problems will still be there talking and complaining, while everyone else have moved on and can look back with pride on the things they've achieved.
Try it and see the changes for yourself!
Zaid Mohamad coaches and trains others to bring out their best while enjoying a peaceful, purposeful life. Reach him at [email protected].
