IN life, there are bound to be challenges. Some will be small, others bigger than we think we can endure. No matter how well we manage our life, we can never run away from these challenges. This is because we have little control over how our day and life will turn out to be. Yet, the way we take on those challenges can determine our happiness.
After my talk recently, I was approached by a lady who seemed quite distressed. At first, she was very apologetic about approaching me in private. But I could see that she had something on her mind, so I encouraged her to share with me.
Soon after, she started telling me how her life had been turned upside down when her teenage daughter was killed in an accident a year earlier, and now by the fact that her husband had been diagnosed with a potential cancer. Life couldn't be worse at a time when she really needed her family's support.
However, she'd been reluctant to share her burdens with anyone for fear that she'd be negatively labelled. She seemed relieved to have talked it out and I concluded the conversation by saying that she was already taking steps in the right direction.
VICTIM OR VICTOR?
Her burden was undoubtedly bigger than some of ours. Yet, human beings have proven that we can overcome any challenges in life. It's easy and almost natural to react to calamities in life with the question, "why me?" It even provides a temporary relief as we try to shift the burden, blame and pressure to another party. Sometimes, that party is God himself. Many people blame God for the misfortunes that befall them.
Unfortunately, no solutions have ever been found by blaming others — God included. Instead, it makes the pain more unbearable and the obstacles, bigger. A better strategy is to ask this question instead: "Why not?"
Can you feel the difference? Asking "why me?" puts our mind in the negative zone. We immediately feel helpless and victimised by the circumstances. The mind shuts itself down from looking for an answer.
Instead, it directs our energy towards negative actions such as complaining and blaming others or even ourselves. We may feel horribly down and clueless about how to get out from of the large dark hole.
POWERFUL QUESTION
However, asking "why not?" is like taking the bull by its horn. Yes, it'll never be easy. Sometimes, it may even be too big to handle. But we need to remember that we're usually more capable than we think. With the right and positive mind which this question offers, suddenly our creative energy is being jumpstarted.
We no longer focus on the problem; Instead, we're looking for solutions. Our mind will work overtime to overcome the obstacles in front of us, no matter how big they are. If they can conquer Mount Everest a few times over, we can surely solve whatever problem that arises. Let's muster our courage to ask "why not?" It's one powerful question with a million exciting answers.
Zaid Mohamad coaches and trains others to bring out their best while enjoying a peaceful, purposeful life. Reach him at [email protected].
