MY late father once told me that ageing wasn't for sissies. It's tough and it can be painful — physically and mentally. And about this same time, these feelings can also challenge you spiritually. Ageing is yet another milestone in life that has to be reckoned with.
I suppose my blank stare and blinks sent him the message that I didn't quite understand what he was talking about. He was then in his 70s, and me, in my 30s. I was at the prime of my life — in health and career— and he was a retiree who was starting to have health issues.
Dad was still very fit at that time, walking at least two to three kilometres daily, and doing his yoga and headstands. His mind was still sharp, as too everything else… until he suddenly found himself breathless going up the flight of stairs from the living room to his bedroom.
That got him worried. It was then that he finally consented to going for a full medical check-up to find out what was wrong. Before this, he'd only see the doctor for his bouts of flu, coughs and cold. There was never any major need to seek medical assistance.
My late mother was the one who was having health issues. She was seeing her doctors regularly. I sometimes followed mum for her check-ups and had met her doctors. Now it was dad's turn.
I was also "nominated" by my siblings to be the one to accompany my parents for their check-ups because I understood "doctor speak". I guess that came about because I once wanted to be a doctor, but opted out of medical school to become a journalist instead.
Even in those years as a journalist, I ended up attending and covering many medical and health conferences and writing about them, later with a column dealing with women's health. So, I guess it came to a full circle that I spent a lot of time at hospitals; but this time, on the other side of the line — as a caregiver.
So, there I was at the various hospitals my parents went to, while my sibling did everything else, from caring for them at home to transporting them wherever they wished to go. We'd split the caregiving duties among us, especially when either of them was hospitalised.
Even though this made the job a lot easier and bearable, it was still quite taxing when we had to go to work and manage the home. It was during these years, and then much later after my parents' passing, followed by personal experiences of "getting older" that I finally understood what ageing meant.
EXPERIENCE AND UNDERSTAND
Sure, people can talk about it, but until you've experienced it yourself, you'll never truly understand what they're talking about. For example, when someone talks about facilities being disabled-friendly, it's not just for someone who was born that way. Anyone can become disabled the minute they can't do what they used to do, like walking, talking, seeing, hearing and so on.
If you twisted your ankle, had knee problems from previous injuries and needed a cane, crutches or wheelchair to move around, you will appreciate places and spaces that accommodate your extra needs. It may be a temporary setback, but any convenience is most appreciated.
You can become incapacitated from a healthy, able-bodied person in a blink of an eye. Keep this in mind to stay humble and grateful. Restrictions that come with ageing is a form of disability too. You may need assistance to do certain things. For instance, you'd appreciate help with carrying your shopping and groceries.
It's always a good idea to have someone to accompany you when you take those long walks in a park that may have lonely patches, or when you park your car in a remote part of the building. Anything can happen.
EASING INTO AGEING
Depending on individual health and lifestyle, changes to your body and how it works vary from person to person. The way you grow older is specific to you. Easing into the ageing process with knowledge can make it easier for your elderly loved ones too.
It's less frightening when they understand why they can't do the things they used to do, or aren't able to do it as well as they used to. It'd also help us when our time comes.
Sometimes, not knowing something and the fear that comes from it can be scarier. Oftentimes, it's the imagination that takes over and we fear the worst. Here's how you can help.
Find out more about anything you need to know on the Internet and share your findings with your loved ones. There's so much information out there. While there are some sensational pieces about any topic you choose, be selective about what you choose to believe.
Do that by checking the sources of information, credibility and reputation. Always crosscheck your facts by reading other articles on the same topic. Better still, when in doubt, consult your doctor at the next appointment.
[The views expressed in this article are the writer's own.]
Putri Juneita Johari volunteers for the Special Community Society of Ampang. She can be reached at [email protected].
