HAVE you ever experienced an unpleasant situation with an overly persistent salesperson? I can recall one such experience. I felt like I was being talked down to and nagged at when I showed no interest.
I was made to feel irresponsible and not caring enough about my wellbeing because I didn't want to buy the product. I didn't enjoy it and I doubt if anyone else would either. It wasn't long before my brain just shut down and started thinking about something else.
The same goes for when we're interacting with other people in our lives, such as colleagues, friends, or even our own children. They shut down fast when they recognise a nag coming. They feel as if they're under attack and will automatically defend themselves.
People nag because they just need to get things off their chest. It's the way for them to respond to things that are happening around them. Instead of solving anything, they just pass the stress onto another person.
IMPORTANCE OF EMPOWERMENT
A better strategy would be to stop talking, analyse the situation and accept the situation as it is. Try to fix the issues if you can; otherwise, just smile and move on. Avoid the urge to nag and complain.
Another use of the 10-90 rule is when giving out instructions. Creative thinking can be forged when we empower others to do things their way. Instead of churning out instructions after instructions, let them do it their way as long as things get done. By empowering them, we're showing that we trust their ability to make decisions while at the same time, treating them like intelligent persons.
Let's take our children's upbringing as example. Children of rigid parents may lose a lot of opportunities to experiment, be creative and learn from their mistakes. Their self-esteem may be affected because they lack training in real-life problem solving.
We'd be surprised at people's ability to think creatively when seeking solutions. Empowering them will help to build up their self-confidence, one task at a time. In life, we're faced with many situations where the 10-90 rule could come in handy.
Lou Holtz, a famous American Football coach, once said: "Life is 10 per cent of what happens to you and 90 per cent how you respond to it." We cannot control what happens around us but we certainly can control how we react to them.
RESPONDING TO THE SITUATION
Instead of complaining "why me?" the energy is much better spent on responding to the situations. Take the bull by its horn and bring it down. Avoid feeling like we're the victim of circumstances. Rather, say "why not?" and just do it and move on.
Last but not least, don't let the daily business of life bring us down. An unhappy person isn't pleasant to anyone. They're the ones who'd be nagging, criticising, instructing and complaining all the time.
Make a commitment to smile more rather than frowning. Enjoy the family while they're still around and need us. Even if you don't like a situation or a person, such as a pushy salesperson, smile and wave goodbye rather than letting them spoil your day. After all, life is 10 per cent of what happens to us and 90 per cent of how we respond to it.
Zaid Mohamad coaches and trains others to bring out their best while enjoying a peaceful, purposeful life. Reach him at [email protected].
