RECENTLY I was approached by a very talkative and persistent salesperson trying to sell me a certain product. We've all gone through this: meet a non-stop chatterbox striving to highlight the quality of a product while outlining 10 reasons why you should buy it right there and then.
Unfortunately, the impact made was quite the opposite. Although I was initially developing an interest in the product, his continuous talk ended up putting me off! He kept on highlighting the same thing over and over again, completely oblivious to the strong and negative body language that I was displaying.
What he actually succeeded in doing was to make me feel small, ignorant and yes, unintelligent. I may know the benefits of the product already, but that didn't mean that I was going to drop everything else and buy it immediately.
What the salesperson failed to understand was the fact that everyone has his/her priorities, issues and problems that are screaming for their attention. By creating a new need through a pressure tactic, it just ends up clouding the potential customer's mind with yet another problem.
TALK LESS, LISTEN MORE
A better strategy would have been to talk less and listen more. I'd even go as far as saying that a good salesperson talks only for 10 per cent and listens for 90 per cent of the time. Only then would he be able to realise that while his product has several benefits, it is meaningless if it doesn't provide any solution to issues that the customer is facing.
I call this insight as the "10-90 Rule". It exists not only in selling but also in many other aspects of life. It's important that we understand these aspects and the impacts the rule brings. We can then reapply it in our daily situations to get the best results for our parenting efforts.
My favourite kind of salesperson is the one who talks less and listen more. I avoid the pushy ones; those who've already decided on what's good for me, without really listening to my needs, situation or issues. They forget that we are where we are because of our intelligence and responsible behaviour.
FULL COOPERATION
Try to do the same to others and we'll find that they too will feel the same. Let's take our children, for example. If we keep on blindly telling them what to do without stopping to check their feelings, they'll get defensive and withdrawn.
Even if what we're saying is true, the bad feelings and personal ego will end up being major hindrances. The older ones would wish to be treated like "adults", while the little ones might find the incessant talking meaningless.
By stopping to listen, we prove that we truly care about them more than our need to "sell our ideas" of what's good for them. We can understand their situation and then offer solutions that meet the conditions. In return, the children or anyone else for that matter, would be much more willing to buy the ideas and fully cooperate with us.
Zaid Mohamad coaches and trains others to bring out their best while enjoying a peaceful, purposeful life. Reach him at [email protected].
