IF you're a parent, chances are you'd have given lots of directions to your children. It's usually easier and faster to just ask them to do something, as opposed to rationalising and explaining it. Since parents are leaders at home, the same behaviour may also be prevalent in leaders at work.
While it's not wrong, directing others may not be the best approach in some situations. In his book Leading with Questions, Michael J. Marquardt, a professor at George Washington University said that many leaders are unaware of the amazing power of questions.
Our conversations may be full of requests and demands, but all too often we're not asking for honest and informative answers, and we don't know how to listen effectively to responses.
When leaders start encouraging questions from their teams, however, they'll begin to see amazing results. Knowing the right questions to ask — and the right way to listen — will give any leader the skills to perform well in any situation, effectively communicate a vision to the team and achieve lasting success across the organisation.
ASKING GOOD QUESTIONS
John Hagel III in his Harvard Business Review article said that good leadership is about asking good questions. He proposed that leaders should ask powerful and inspiring questions, especially when they find themselves in the midst of crisis and uncertainties.
Asking questions well can put you on the path to solving intractable problems and will also help you connect with others and, counter-intuitively, to earn their trust.
Hagel further said that those questions should be big in scope: What new opportunities have emerged that we don't want to miss? How might we use new technologies to change our business model?
And you should involve others in answering those questions — employees, stakeholders and even customers. Doing so will not only help you generate better answers, it can also help you to change your organisation's culture.
REFINE THE SKILL
So, how can we then become better at asking questions? There's an old advice that says one should seek to understand before seeking to be understood.
That's probably the reason why we have two ears and only one mouth, so that we listen twice as much as we speak!
Besides offering a listening ear, be genuine in asking questions. Avoid words that sound condescending, forcing the other party to answer defensively. Instead, we ask "friendly" questions, using respectable words and sentences.
Similarly, avoid using "trap" questions unnecessarily. These are questions designed to trap the respondent into giving a certain answer or admitting to a certain accusation. Instead, ask open-ended questions.
These questions will give maximum opportunity for the other party to elaborate, rationalise and clarify their thoughts. Avoid asking closed-ended or direct questions as much as possible. Simply asking for a "yes" or "no" and also for A or B will not give them much room for flexible thinking.
At the end of the day, leaders who can harness the power of asking the right questions will not only enjoy better communication with others, but also become more influential in relationships. Now that's a handy tool to have, isn't it?
Zaid Mohamad coaches and trains others to bring out their best while enjoying a peaceful, purposeful life. Reach him at [email protected].
