"FAR out in the ocean, the water is as blue as the petals of the loveliest cornflower, and as clear as the purest glass. But it's very deep too. It goes down deeper than any anchor rope will go, and many, many steeples would have to be stacked one on top of another to reach from the bottom to the surface of the sea. It's down there that the sea folk live…"
So begins the story of The Little Mermaid by Hans Christian Andersen in 1837.
And so also, I cried. I cried and cried and cried. I cried as if my little heart was being smashed to smithereens. I mean, how could the prince do that to Marina, the little mermaid, after all she'd done for him? How could he NOT marry his saviour? And for her to die completely heartbroken and turn into foam on the water's surface?
Disney lied.
Because Disney's 1989 animated musical fantasy film version of Andersen's The Little Mermaid made sure that Marina — in this case, renamed Ariel — had a happy ending, sailing off into the sunset with her Prince Eric in tow, as friends and family rejoice at their union.
Suffice it to say, I've been fascinated by stories and movies on mermaids ever since I laid my grubby little hands on a well-thumbed copy of Andersen's most fascinating and layered fairy tale at a local library as a kid growing up in England.
I remember the cloak of "pain" that draped itself over my shoulders for days after I discovered the tragic fate of poor Marina.
Even Disney's happy-ever-after conclusion years later hasn't been able to make me forget that lesson in unrequited love, of the absolute sacrifice, learnt so early in life. And in my adulthood, I continue to be charmed by the idea of a magical underwater kingdom peopled by merfolk.
"Well, for me, it was Daryl Hannah's Splash," says a voice slicing into my thoughts, which had inadvertently taken a silent wander into the recesses of my memory on this humid afternoon in Petaling Jaya.
Seated opposite me in a dimly-lit corner of Starbucks, his hands cradling a take-away cup of coffee, is a bemused-looking gentleman, slight in size and with a simple tanjak (traditional Malay male headgear) covering his head. He gazes at me thoughtfully.
"It made such an impact on me," he continues, referring to the 1984 American fantasy rom-com directed by Ron Howard and starring Daryl Hannah as a mysterious mermaid whom a young Tom Hanks, who played the part of Allen, the co-owner of a wholesale fruit and vegetable business, fell in love with.
JR — yes, that's his name — is a merman. Well, at least when he's not donning a blazer and tie as a hotelier — his regular day job. Wait, let's get acquainted first, shall we? I say to him, unable to suppress my curiosity the moment I clap eyes on the collection of colourful "fish" tails, which he'd brought with him for our chat and had laid out neatly on the bench.
"My name is 'JR', which stands for "junior"," he repeats patiently, before continuing with a smile: "I have the same name as my dad. His name is Abu Kassim. My dad decided to just put 'JR' at the back. He probably watched too much Dallas! So, my full name is Abu Kassim Jadi JR. No bin, no nothing!"
Meanwhile, his "mer-sona" (read: persona) is "Mer-layu", a witty wordplay on the words "mermaid" and Melayu (Malay), for that is what he is. Melayu, I mean. He laughs uproariously when I tell him what a fantastic name he's given himself as a merfolk.
SIREN CALL
Our meeting today is quite serendipitous, when I think about it. Once again allowing my mind to wander, I recall it was mere weeks earlier when I'd burnt the midnight oil poring over online articles on my laptop, primarily to catch up on what I'd missed during my month-long sojourn in London. I was paying particular attention to feature stories that had trended in competitor papers.
Lo and behold, the headlines "Mermaiding subculture is making a splash" and "Mermaiding subculture is spreading its ripples around the world" jumped out from the screen, enticing me to click on the links.
Mermaiding, the artistic swimming activity in which people wear mermaid fins and tails, seemed to be all the rage in certain parts of the world. In fact, there are pods of merfolk scattered everywhere; gentle folks seeking distance from the noisy world above and finding peace underwater.
"I wonder whether Malaysia has a mermaiding community or a mermaid," I remember musing to myself before logging off for the night. Now, wouldn't that be cool. Having buried my distress over Andersen's little mermaid, who'd sacrificed her voice for the love of a prince, my dream that night was filled with the mournful image of a mermaid on a rock looking forlornly out to sea.
Fast forward the next day…
"Dive into the mermaiding world with Merlayu" the words jumped out from the screen, causing me to re-look at the email in front of me. "What the…?" My incredulity turned to glee the moment it dawned that somehow the universe must have heard my mutterings the previous night.
The email was from a "merman" who wanted to share his stories about the mermaiding world and his vision to raise awareness on the importance of protecting our oceans. Furthermore, he was also in the midst of organising a mermaid convention!
I'd never responded to an email so fast before!
ONCE UPON A TIME
Tell me EVERYTHING about yourself, I say to the soft-spoken 42-year-old in front of me, turning my attention once more on "JR" aka "Mer-layu".
"Ever since I was a kid, I've always loved nature. Fascinated, even, especially by fishes and other aquatic creatures," he begins, eyes taking on a faraway look. Continuing, the KL-born JR, whose father originally hailed from Singapore, and whose mother is half Thai, confides: "My dad told me I always got excited every time I saw fishes. Given the chance, I'd dissect a fish and flip it just to see its inner workings."
But the actual epiphanic moment — that of the lure of the mer-world — only hit him when he watched that 1984 movie Splash. "I remember thinking, 'holy crap!'," exclaims JR, his face creasing into a wide beam.
Continuing, he shares: "I watched it when I was 7. I remember gazing in awe at Daryl Hannah and wondering whether she was really a mermaid. That whole image imprinted itself on my young mind."
His interest grew and he'd spend endless hours poring over books on mermaids and watching films that featured the creature. But Hannah's Splash, confides JR, whose other passion is drawing, remains his favourite.
His fascination with the 'mer-world' is deep. As deep as the mysteries that lay untold in the world underwater. "I have so many questions," admits JR, adding: "Do they exist? Is there a world down there populated by these magical beings? I mean, half human, half fish… is it biologically possible? Just the thought of it blows my mind!"
Eyes lighting up, JR, who has a computer science background, shares that one of his favourite destinations growing up was to the seaside, and his favourite activity, fishing. "Whenever I caught a fish, I'd spend hours just studying the shape of its fins, the scales on its body, everything!"
Leaning in, a sheepish expression on his face, JR confides that growing up, he wasn't a good swimmer and suffered from thalassophobia — an intense phobia or fear of large bodies of water. But his fascination with the vast ocean drove him to make a promise to himself: That he would one day learn to swim.
And this he did — when he was in his late 20s — spending endless hours conquering his fear at a pool in Taman Permaisuri, Cheras. "Everything I know is self-taught. I asked people around me how best to hold my breath and do this stroke and that. But I certainly don't recommend anyone to do it that way," he says, chuckling softly.
It was sometime in 2018 that JR finally acquired his first set of fins. He recalls: "I bought them from Finis, one of the biggest swimming brands that specialises in developing high-performance swimwear and swimming gear. I thought I had nothing to lose and it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to do something I really wanted and to live out my fantasy."
FANTASY REALM
Is there such a thing as a mer-kingdom out there? I couldn't help blurting out, in part hoping to hear a solid "yeah" in response.
Again, the flicker of a smile crosses his face. "Well, there may be some truth in it," replies JR, bemusement lacing his tone. Adding, he says: "At the end of the day, we all know that our oceans haven't really been totally explored. We don't know what's down there. Come to think of it, we've probably explored the moon's surface more than we have the oceans."
Maybe all this talk of mermaids has something to do with the dugong? I muse aloud, recalling my own fascination with the mer-kingdom. If I remember correctly from my readings, dugong, the Pacific cousin of the manatee, are aquatic mammals believed by sailors from all cultures to be young women of the sea or mermaids.
In 1959, a discovery was made of some 3000-year-old drawings depicting the dugong, which translates to "lady of the sea" or duyong in Malay, inside Malaysia's Tambun Cave. Meanwhile, in Palau, a Pacific nation that extends across 340 islands, the dugong has always played an important role in traditional ceremonies and lore.
"I guess it's always good to have this imagination!" pipes JR, acknowledging my point. "Let your mind travel. I mean, whenever I don my tail, my fins and I'm in the water, I'm transported to a completely different place. I immerse myself in my persona almost automatically. It's like, 'hey, I'm Mer-layu now, the Malay merman who roams Malaysia's waters!"
Continuing, JR, whose father was a lieutenant-colonel in the army and whose mother was a banker, shares that one of the reasons he created this persona was to be able to explore all the fascinating places in the country, albeit in a unique way. "Like our islands, for example."
Elaborating, he points out: "Many people have done scuba diving, snorkelling etc. in the various islands, but I wanted to do something different and out of the box. Mermaid you hear about sometimes, but merman? And what's more, a local guy doing it!"
How would you describe your persona, I ask, unable to stop myself from smiling at the exuberance of this self-confessed, stubborn Taurus. "I'm the cheeky, bubbly, crazy outgoing merman," he exclaims proudly.
Asked whether he has a pretty mermaid partner to keep him company on his swims, JR replies happily: "Have you seen my videos on my IG page? There's a girl there that I do shoots with. I met her through our international mermaiding group when I asked whether there was anyone who'd swim with me. She replied and since then, we make it a point to come to the pool here in Petaling Jaya and do mermaiding together."
FIGHTING THE STIGMA
To say that everything has been going swimmingly well for this mermaiding enthusiast wouldn't be completely true. In fact, one of the reasons why JR wanted to meet me is to dispel the myths and raise better awareness on mermaiding — as a sport and a passion.
"It's not been without its challenges," confides JR, a touch of sombre in his voice. "It's more so because I'm Malay. I've had people coming up to me and telling me that what I'm doing is wrong. 'Haram tau jadi binatang (it's haram to be an animal)' they like to say. And then there are those who say mermaids are supposed to be women. So, what's a guy doing playing half-fish?"
Every time he goes on his island jaunts, his fins in tow, people would laugh. "They'd ask, 'why do you need to wear a tail for? Are you Malay?' I, in turn, will politely tell them it's a sport and that I'd appreciate it if they just do their own thing. When they go out on the boat to the middle of the sea, they're the ones with a life jacket, not me! I'm having all the fun swimming around."
Voice low, JR, the younger of two siblings, continues: "They find it weird. Even my own friends joke about it. Whenever I tell people about my fascination, they look at me incredulously and tell me that I'm being funny. 'Why don't you just go and play football?' they'd say."
Do you? I ask. I mean, play football?
He shakes his head and replies: "No. The only sport I do or ever did is swimming. I tell people that everyone has their own preferences and that mine happens to be that, which dwells inside my head. For me, mermaiding isn't just swimming, it's also about being artistic and about mind therapy. When I'm in the water, sometimes as deep as six metres with my tail, I can travel to faraway places in my mind and switch character and be free."
Brows furrowing, JR confides that he did initially have reservations about "sharing" his fantasy with others. "I was apprehensive about what people might think. But then I told myself if I don't do this now, when am I going to do it? I don't want to regret anything in life. In the end, I made the decision to take the plunge and not care anymore."
A NEW WORLD
What's the world underwater like? I probe, allowing for his confession to sink in as I take a sip of my now-lukewarm coffee.
"When you first do it, it can feel very scary," replies JR, whose favourite place for mermaiding is Pulau Redang. Adding, he shares: "Swimming in the pool and swimming in the open ocean are two completely different experiences. When you jump into the latter, you really don't know how deep it can go. You'd be swimming happily and then suddenly, surfacing at some hundred feet away, you wonder where's the boat!"
That's why safety is always emphasised upon. Cautions JR: "Have a buddy system and don't swim alone. Mermaiding isn't easy. What's the hardest thing? The holding your breath part. I can hold my breath for a maximum of two minutes. Some people can go beyond that. But for me, it's more important to know your limit. Some people have bigger lung capacity, but you need to be you. Mermaiding, at the end of the day, isn't a competition."
Some semblance of swimming skills is, of course, highly advisable. Especially when you're having both your feet bound like that and stuffed into a single tail where precision movement is necessary.
To swim like a mermaid, you need to swim with your full body parallel to the bottom of the pool in a horizontal body position. The tail should be completely underwater.
"I'm not the world's greatest swimmer, but I do have the basics," confesses JR, adding: "Although I only started mermaiding last year, I've been swimming for the last 10 years. I ensure that every week, I go for training and swim at least 1km's worth, mostly doing the breast stroke."
In the beginning of the 20th century, mermaiding was sometimes referred to as water ballet, but it's not a term that's commonly used today. And it's also not to be confused with modern synchronised swimming, although there can be some overlaps if a mermaid performance troupe is performing a synchronised routine.
"The great thing is that it's also a form of mind relaxation," adds JR, continuing: "Some people relax when they go for a jog; others turn to the gym or go for yoga. For me, when I get in the water with my tail and I'm just floating out there in the tranquillity of nature, it's wonderfully relaxing."
If there's one other thing JR aspires to do, it's to organise a mermaiding convention. "I'm targeting it for year end," he exclaims, adding: "It'll be a convention that brings together the merfolk community from around the country, of which there are many, but are too scattered. It'll be a place for us to share tales and help bust some myths. The public can also come to learn about mermaiding."
Furthermore, he wants to use the convention as a platform to raise awareness about the fragility of our oceans and what we can do to protect them.
"People just don't realise that every little thing they do has impact. The overfishing, throwing cigarette butts in the water, etc. these are serious issues that need to be addressed," adds JR passionately.
Last year, mermaiding received mainstream recognition from Guinness World Records after 110 professional mermaids performed the world's largest underwater mermaid show at the Atlantis Sanya, an ocean-themed resort in Sanya, Hainan Island. In fact, mermaid conventions or "Mercons" are now held globally. As an example, just recently, masses of "mer-folk" swarmed New York's streets for the annual Coney Island Mermaid Parade.
Realising that we need to head to the pool soon to conduct a photoshoot of our Malaysian merman in action, I lob JR a final question. Land or sea?
He chuckles heartily, before replying: "As the lobster Sebastian from Disney's The Little Mermaid said to Ariel, 'The human world is a mess. Life under the sea is better than anything they got up there!'"
He's probably right!
Follow JR's amazing stories on his IG @mer.layu.
