LIVING through a pandemic is definitely challenging, but research has shown that gratitude can make the process easier. One study last year showed that regularly practising gratitude can help ease symptoms of anxiety and depression.
Meanwhile, an older study from 2003 noted that gratitude is linked to improved mood. Practising gratitude fosters positive feelings and can contribute to a sense of well-being when done regularly.
One way of demonstrating our gratitude is to accept the good and bad in our children. Of course, we'd do everything we can to help them improve, but we can't get too frustrated because of these shortcomings.
For example, when they come home with a grade that's less than expected, stay calm and try to take it positively. If you show a negative response, your children will pick up on that vibe and start thinking that they're not good enough. This will not motivate them to improve.
A better strategy is to accept the results positively and challenge them to do even better the next time. Acknowledge that they've done their best and that there's always room for improvement.
Notice the change in the vibe? Your kids will pick up on the positive aura and be motivated to do better.
DON'T COMPARE
Acknowledge that no one's perfect and that everyone makes mistakes all the time. We'd soon get very tired if we try to rationalise all those mistakes.
Deal with them immediately, but don't let them spoil our mood or day. In fact, acknowledge our children's mistakes by ensuring that they learn something out of it.
Avoid the urge to compare their performance against anyone else's. Let them live their own life under a certain set of agreed conditions and rules. We can watch them thrive under our loving guidance.
Always provide them with attention and support, and at the same time, supervise them to ensure that they're doing their best under those circumstances.
Once we're able to establish that, our children will feel free to be themselves and maximise their own capabilities. When they study, they'll study hard, knowing that it's them against themselves, and not against their cousins.
They'll feel liberated knowing that whatever they deliver in the future will be fairly judged by their parents. If they don't do so well, they only have themselves to blame.
They should be able to take it and make a commitment to improve the next time. This is the power of liberating themselves from the trap of comparisons.
Feeling frustrated only serves to create a negative aura. It doesn't motivate the soul. However, accepting the results demonstrates that we've accepted what God has decided, good or bad. It also creates an optimistic mood and a passion for more.
Zaid Mohamad coaches and trains parents to experience happier homes and more productive workplaces. Reach him at [email protected].
