Fear is good. There, I said it. Some of you may think I have gone "doolally."
I get it. We spend a lot of energy and effort to not be in a place that is not fearful or scary. And here I am, saying that fear is actually good.
You see, as much as we try to stay away from fear, it is like a shadow that follows us around. So, resistance is actually futile. Just like how failure has to be embraced, fear too must be accepted into our lives. Don't get me wrong. We do not have to go chasing fear and failure. But it is inevitable in life.
Fear can either debilitate or motivate. And, the choice is entirely yours.
An article by Dr. Theo Tsaousides, a renowned neuropsychologist and clinical researcher appeared in Psychology Today in 2015. This magazine is a long-standing publication endorsed by the US National Board for Certified Counsellors. Here, he argued that a lack of fear may be a sign of serious brain damage. Research cited in this journal says that the capacity for fear is actually a permanent fixture in your brain.
Neuroscientists have discovered that when the networks in our brain are electrically or chemically stimulated, fear is produced, even in the absence of any fearful stimulus. So perhaps you should start by accepting that feeling fear is neither abnormal nor a sign of weakness. The capacity to be afraid is an integral part of your normal brain function.
The same article in Psychology Today goes on to categorise that your actions motivated by fear will usually come in four stages. You freeze, fight, take flight, or get frightened.
When you freeze, you literally stop what you are doing and just focus on the fearful stimulus to decide what to do next. After the initial "freeze" comes to pass, you will automatically choose one of these two; fight or flight.
You will decide whether to deal with the threat directly through confrontation or you begin to work around it by seeking alternative paths, or you take an altogether different set of actions.
However, when the fear is overwhelming, you experience the fourth category, which is just pure fright. This is when you neither fight nor flee. At this emotional state, you get debilitated. You might obsess about the situation, and you might moan, but you take no action. And, research shows that being continuously in fright mode can lead to depression.
Yet, through my experience with entrepreneurship, and my work as a management consultant and leadership coach, the most successful people I meet, somehow manage to plough through this barrier of fear.
How do these people master fear, and learn to leverage on it?
Aristotle, the Greek philosopher, and scientist declared: "…courage is the first of human virtues because it makes all others possible." And, in his autobiography, 'Long Walk to Freedom' Nelson Mandela wrote: "I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear."
It seems that courageous people are as afraid as anyone else, and it appears that it is their fear that makes them brave and strong-willed, and not the lack of it. They have just worked out how to manage their fear.
So, the first thing I have learnt from working with successful entrepreneurs is not to be afraid of fear. You have to be calm and acknowledge that you are afraid of something. If you understand that fear serves to "warn and protect," it helps you manage your emotions better.
It is really a guide that supports you, as you navigate the complexities of life to meet your goals.
For example, about 9-months ago, I opened a restaurant in Penang called Fire by Shankar. I was not free from fear that my venture would not succeed. I was afraid. I thought deeply about my reputation, the financial pressure that I would face, and all this, at an age when I may not be as flexible as I used to be. But I realised that "fear" prepared me better than when I started my first business as a 24 year old.
So, there are two critical skills to manage our fear.
The first is to increase your self-efficacy. There is no better remedy to fear than self-confidence. Your confidence grows when you increase your knowledge, learn and master skills, and gain experience.
The second is to learn to continue to act even as you are fearful about something.
People who have learnt to master fear, are excellent strategists. They plan and evaluate their actions. They know when to press, and when to lean back. They know how to assess risks, and always take appropriate action.
If you want success in your life, you must embrace your fears, and simply gain control over them.
*The writer is managing consultant and executive leadership coach at EQTD Consulting. He is also the author of the national bestseller 'So, You Want To Get Promoted?'
